The long story short, I ended up dating Brittany, and fucked that up horribly. She's still living here, but I feel terrible about the things that I've done to her. I feel these horrid regrets that swirl around me and cloud every nice thing I do. I'm working a better job at a better company making better money... but I'm still empty.
And I can't fix what I've broken. Which really sucks.
I'm pretty much out of luck.
But even now she's hurting me. Going through my things, invading my privacy, and just generally stalking me. It's out of fear and I know that I'm doing a shitty job of assuaging her fears.
I hate feeling guilty all the time. I wouldn't mind feeling good for once.