For too long I've spent my days and nights wrapped up in school, work, and the affairs of people that I don't really need to concern myself with. I think that it's important to get back to understanding and dealing with myself.
I've been so afraid of what I've been wanting lately. Because it's so violent and senseless and reckless... I want so badly to choke the life out of something beautiful with nothing more than the acidic thoughts that wreak such havoc in my mind. I want to kill you the way that siafu would; I want to crawl into your sinuses and wander about inside your head for a while before I find my way down your throat. Through sheer determination I'll fill you up, and soon enough you'll be unable to handle anything more. I'll find my way into your lungs and just my presence there will disrupt you... and soon enough you'll stop drawing breath, you will literally drown in me.
Perhaps I'm an insect.
In unrelated news and now metaphor-unladen! : Things in my personal life have been up in the air for a long while now, and I don't know what to do about it. I want what I can't have, I can't want what's not available, and I can't love what's not perfect.
Jenn and I...is an interesting topic that really needs a lot of clarification or else I'm going to absolutely lose my shit and beat someone to death.
At least I'm still breathing...