Sarevok9 (sarevok9) wrote,


This semester is turning out to be an interesting one... I feel like I'm drowning in my own expectations of self, all while being over my head in women, debt, and problems.

I suppose others have it worse than I do, because so many things in my life are stable, sturdy, and unchanging... I suppose that if nothing else I have that much to be thankful for...I have a place to live, food, and best of all, relative comfort.

But what I don't have is a connection, a spark.... someone that I can really bear my soul to. Part of me believes that she will eventually fill that void, and be the person who I start seeing... I don't WANT it to be that way...she's too far, too quiet... but when I'm around her, it's easy to be happy.

I feel like I'm missing something though... like I'm forgetting that there is some hidden subtext to everything that I want, and how it's somehow unattainable.

Part of me simply wishes that I was able to do more for those around me... but I don't orgasm money, so all my options are really drying up rapidly in that area.

I was told once that good things happen to good people... I am still waiting for evidence.
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